Scathing Review of a Show that I Enjoyed Watching

Do we give standing ovations too frequently?

I apologize in advance to everyone who was involved in the Next Stage Festival’s production of THE APIARY which closed its run none-too-soon at the 2nd Stage Theater (Tony Kiser) off Broadway.

I want to not name them because I am about to lambaste the whole show, one tiny wing at a time.

But let’s begin with my expectations.

1. I love new plays. LOVE them. LOVE experimental theater, things set in futures or dystopias, things with weird symbolic elements, love it all. I have an MFA from Columbia which means nothing other than to tell you that I have been reading and loving weird shit for decades.
2. I love bees. In Lithuanian the word for best friend is “bičiulis” which translates to “bee-friend”
3. I love productions at 2nd Stage. I have been avidly a fan since they were literally a black box on the second floor of some crappy walkup. Now they are an industry and I applaud them. Also I love these actors individually and the director’s other work and pretty much want to shield the humans from what is about to explode from my fingertips.

I thought this show was a colossal failure. Yet it got a standing ovation. It was extremely hard not to stand up with everyone else — the acting was great! The show was interesting! I was happy to be outside at a live theater production! I was delighted that the show was…