A Writer’s Night before Christmas
(written last year, with great apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)
’Twas the night before Christmas
And writers dug deep
For bon mots to write down
In the hours before sleep
Their unpublished novels
Lay snug in their files
(With visions of agents
Surprised into smiles)
When I with my nightcap
Awoke my dark screen —
This pulled up a to-do list
That felt quite obscene
The clock had struck two
what was wrong with my head?
When the house is this quiet
I can’t go to bed
Let’s edit the characters!
Heighten the themes!
Let’s touch on the marketing —
Viralize memes!
Now dashes! Now hyphens!
Out adverbs — add colon!
Strike comma! Feel stupid
(That image was stolen)
I write ’til my eyes ache,
I write til I nod,